


Close My Eyes and Go

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Crutchie is a good friend too, Dark, Davey is a good friend, Gen, Jack has a well-deserved mental breakdown, My First Fanfic, No ship intended but it could be read as one, Suicide Attempt, no beta we die like men, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27273127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Davey finds Jack standing on the edge of the lodging house roof, with one foot already over the edge.OR: Jack has a well-deserved mental breakdown.TW warning for suicide attempt, I rated it Teen and Up because none of Jack's (almost certainly dark) thoughts are shown, please tell me if you think it should be rated higher.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Close My Eyes and Go

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the darkest thing I've ever written, and also the first thing I've ever posted so...

Davey climbed up the fire escape, knowing he had to hurry but trying to stretch out the time for as long as he could. Les was practically dead on his feet, and Davey knew he should get him home, but he wanted to say goodbye to Jack first. Davey expected to see Jack drawing or staring at the stars dreaming of Santa Fe, but when Davey reached the roof he saw Jack doing neither. Instead, he was standing dangerously close to the edge of the roof, one foot extended contemplatively in front of him. It looked like he was getting ready to step off, but it was the blank, distant expression on Jack’s face that frightened Davey the most.  
Davey froze with one foot still on the fire escape. Should he say something? Well, _yes_ , obviously, but what?  
Jack was the one to break the silence first. “Hey, Dave,” he said calmly. He didn’t sound angry, or sad, just… far away.  
“Hey, Jackie,” Davey replied, walking slowly towards the center of the roof. “Uh, what are you doing?”  
Jack seemed to consider the question for a moment. His foot was still hovering over the four-story drop. He didn’t answer.  
“Would you, um, mind coming back here? To talk?” _Away from the edge?_  
Jack didn’t move.  
“I guess I’ll come to you then,” Davey said, and carefully scooted until he was sitting next to Jack, with his knees pulled up to his chest. One foot already hanging off the roof was more than enough for him. They stayed like that for a while, quiet. It could have been anywhere from ten seconds to a minute. And Jack’s foot stayed where it was, over the edge. Davey finally broke the silence, saying quickly, “Jackie, please don’t do this, we need you-”  
Jack’s head turned away sharply. “ _I know!_ Trust me, I know.” He scrubbed a hand across his face, looking very tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t been able to sleep for a long time. Quietly, Jack said, “I know better than anyone how much you needs me.”  
Keeping his eyes on Jack’s extended foot, Davey asked, “What’s that supposed to mean, Jack?”  
“It means I don’t know how to do this anymore!” Jack yelled, pushing his hands through his hair and knocking his cap to the ground in the process. He sat down so suddenly that Davey thought for a horrible moment he had jumped, but Jack just curled up on the edge, with his face buried in his knees. “I can’t do this anymore, Dave, I can’t be a… a father to them kids! All I’m good for is making up fake headlines and chasing useless old towns in the middle of nowhere. I’m seventeen years old, Dave, I can’t be what they needs me to be. I can’t keep them warm in winter, I can’t keep them fed, I can’t keep them out of the Refuge, I can’t keep _myself_ out of the Refuge. I get nightmares every night about that place. _Every single night, Dave._ I ain’t had a full night’s sleep since I was seven.” His voice, which had been steadily growing throughout his whole speech, seemed very small when he said, “I don’t think I can take one more bad dream.” Jack raised his eyes to Davey’s when he said this, and the look of hopeless fear on his face cut Davey to the bone.  
 _No one should ever have to feel this way_ , Davey thought, as he slid along the roof towards Jack. Jack, who had cast his gaze down again like he couldn’t bear to see Davey’s pity. Davey reached out, certain for the first time that night that this wouldn’t backfire. He wrapped his arms around Jack’s hunched shoulders, and Jack practically launched himself into Davey’s arms, giving way to loud, gut-wrenching sobs. The force of the tackle gave Davey an opportunity to pull Jack away from the edge of the roof and onto more stable ground. He pulled Jack close, holding him in his arms, whispering reassurances that said, _I’m here for you, Jackie. I won’t let go. I won’t leave you. I’m here. It’ll be okay._  
Davey and Jack stayed like that the whole night. Jack cried himself to sleep pretty quickly- _he must be exhausted,_ Davey thought- but Davey didn’t move, not even when Crutchie climbed up a few minutes later to tell him Race was going to take Les home. Davey just nodded, and told Crutchie he was going to stay with Jack. Crutchie half turned away, not wanting to ruin their moment, before looking back over his shoulder to whisper, “Is he okay?” Davey thought for a moment, wondering how to tell him his best friend had almost jumped off the roof. He settled for shaking his head ‘no,’ and saying,  
“He hasn’t been okay for a while, Crutchie. But I think it'll get better."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and please let me know how I can improve because I dearly need feedback (this is my first time showing something I've written to other people and yeah if you can't tell my whole account was made on impulse).


End file.
